I am not a huge Pinterest person. Honestly, I find it very overwhelming and by the time I'm done skimming, I just feel like crap about myself. I feel like a jerk because I don't spend thirty minutes cutting Quinnie's sandwich into little zoo animals with carrot-stick lion manes and celery teeth. I don't arrange my spices in handmade containers with alphabetized labels and I can't tell you the ten easiest ways to organize your bathroom. There's just too much out there and I can't narrow it down.
But last week, I took a chance on a craft from the kid's section - edible finger paints. Technically, it's not meant to be eaten as a snack, but my kid is a Mouther and I knew that whatever we used, it had to at least not poison her. That's my standard for parenting - if it's not poison, you can eat it. It's best to keep it basic.
My Mom's birthday was just around the corner and since Quinlan is her BFF, I wanted to try and make something memorable. I found instructions for homemade finger paints that were baby-safe although hardly appetizing - basically a concoction of water and corn starch. It was a bust from the beginning - the pictures promised a creamy, smooth spread that would be easily paintable for chubby little fingers. I followed the directions exactly and I ended up with a cloudy soup that would hardly pass for fingerpaint. I went back and read some of the comments and found a few suggestions about heating it on the stovetop, which I did, and it turned into a thick, sticky goop.
It was all really gross, but I tried thinning it out with a little water, which did seem to help some, but by the time I added the food coloring and put it into bowls, it was sticky and gloppy all over again. But we must carry on! I set the bowls in front of my darling dear and, while I admire her enthusiasm, she squished her hand into it and put a fistful directly into her mouth. Then she got ticked when I took it away (see below).
And don't you know, the dog had to start licking it off her chair and the floor and the table. And then I had to step in. And then I was scraping hardened bits of rainbow goo off the floor hours later. And the paper never even really dried, it curled and twisted up at the edges and ended up being more like a lousy vessel for colorful boogers. It was a craft fail.
Sorry, baby. Mommy is not very crafty, but we'll try again soon. Or maybe we'll just stick to eating cookie dough and reading books. We're good at those things.